#reverb 10 - December 11th

Prompt: 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? 


1. ESL teaching.  My life has benefitted greatly from the opportunity to teach English as a second language, but I know it's time to stop doing a job that pays the bills and start doing a job that I have passion for.  If I put it off any longer I may never get the chance again.
I will have to continue teaching for the first half of 2011 unless I get another job, but once I hit July I'm done.  During the time that I'm working I am going to focus on doing passion projects and re-training in my spare time (it's easy here with no social life to speak of :( ) so that I'm prepared for new beginnings come July.


2. More stuff.  I'm going to work really hard to stop buying more stuff.  I will exist off what I have already.  And before I add something new to my life I will get rid of something I already have.  Also, when I move to a new place I will buy what I need piece by piece so that I can pay it off in full right away and not end up surviving on credit cards again.  It will be difficult at times I'm sure.  But my self worth does not rely on me having a couch, side tables, an LCD flatscreen TV and a rug in my livingroom the moment I move in to a new place.  It's just a matter of telling myself that in a mantra.


3. No.  My life definitely needs less 'No' in 2011.  I need to open myself up more. I've lived 'No' for so long that it's a natural response.  If I'm to create the life I've spent 2010 figuring out that I want then I need to be as open to 'Yes' as I am to the idea of possibilities.  For 'No' will just bring me back down to the place I started.  To do this for the start of 2011, I'm going to practice pausing before responding (which I've been successfully practicing for about a month now).  That pause allows for the process of understanding about where the response is coming from, and allows me to double check if my automatic response allows me to live the new values I wish to live by.


4. Frenetic and consistent Facebook and email checking.  With a lack of a social life here I've come to live socially through the internet.  Facebook and my email are always open and I'm always checking back to see - Who responded?  What did they say?  What are they doing now? - It's unproductive and leads to boredom and an inability to focus on other tasks.  This is gonna be a hard one to tackle, but I think it's all about scheduling and focus.  In the same way that I write my 750 words everyday without pause I just need to focus on the task at hand without pause and schedule in email and Facebook check times, as if I was taking a coffee break.  I also know that when I get out more it'll become less absorbing, so there's hope!


5. Judgement.  Of others and ultimately myself.  I never realized before how I spend my inner life judging.  On the outside it may appear that I'm judging others, but ultimately it's all really a response to how I felt about myself and judge myself.  What a colossal waste of time!  Thank goodness for Buddhism.  I don't know what I would have done without the speakers of IMC to help me realize this during the year.  It's not easy to practice, but just staying mindful is the first step towards accomplishing this goal.  But don't judge yourself for not noticing if you judge yourself or not!  LOL!


6. Reality TV.  I admit it.  I love reality TV.  Mostly because it changes my opinion of stars that I love to hate (there goes that judgement again), but also cause it's just so fun to watch - especially when my life is pretty hum drum.  However, there's always a new show to start watching and downloading and spending my money on.  If I just got out there and lived a little I could have my own reality TV show, which makes me think that the only reason I watch it is because I don't have enough passion in my life to get me off the couch and into reality!  Focusing on the things that bring me joy and satisfaction and that I'm passionate about should help me accomplish this goal.  I think I may have to report back on this once next year though - but remember! if I keep watching reality TV I'm not gonna judge!  LOL!


7.  Road raging.  Need I say more?  Meditation should help with that.  Or driving less!  Hopefully the new southern expressway that recently opened will continue to help with that.


8. Concern.  Concern over what others are doing that I'm not.  Places they're going that I'm not.  Things they have that I don't.  Secrets they keep that I don't know.  Etc, etc, etc.  Again, it all comes back to my practice of meditation (which I've not got into the habit of doing this year) and mindfulness.  I'm on the right track for sure, it's just a matter of staying on course.  I'm human of course so sometimes these feelings become overwhelming, especially when it comes to achievements in film/ writing, which I so want for myself.  But it's funny how I have the most of these concerns at times when I've actually done quite a lot myself and won some awards too.  Perspective people, perspective!


9. Shoes. Scratch that.  I mean I really want to write it, but there's definitely no judgement when it comes to shoes.  Shoes make or break a day.  And there's just so many to choose from! Joy!


10. Hopefully next year there's less dreaming and more doing.  I'm definitely on the 'write' track with all the writing projects I'm lined up to do starting January.  I just need to be able to keep it up into Feb, March etc.  It'll be a challenge, but I realize it's worth it and I now understand more fully than ever that writing keeps me balanced and on the right track.  Doors start to open when I'm writing.  I just have to decide which door I'll continue through.  750 words should definitely help with that.  Thank you 750 words!  You've saved me :D


11. Hope.  I'm not saying hope is bad, but my life definitely needs less hope and more joy.  I need to live in the moment and enjoy it rather than spend my life hoping for better moments to come.  It's only possible to do this if we take a minute, breathe, feel our presence in that moment and experience the beauty and simplicity in each moment that we are alive.  So, this coming year I'm choosing to live the joyful moment rather than the hopeful future.