It's wonderful when something negative happens that allows you to take stock of how far you've come in changing mental patterns.
After three long months of waiting to hear back about a job I knew I wouldn't enjoy but applied for anyway, I wrote an email to the company to ask if there was an update on my candidacy. The next day I got a reply back saying that while my experience and qualifications were great, I was not chosen for the position, yadda, yadda, yadda. You know how it goes.
In the past I would have probably slammed the laptop lid shut (I'm a Mac owner now so thankful those days are over!), stormed out the room and spent the rest of the night sulking around the house telling myself how unfair life was and if they didn't want me it was their loss not mine.
While I am still telling myself that it is their loss knowing my qualifications and experience and what a great darned worker I am, I'm really taking this rejection as possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me.
My thoughts remind me of a blog post I recently read through Tiny Buddha by Jen 'Smiling Heart', whose recent job firing actually ended up being the making of a new and wonderful career writing for her blog and doing her wonderful art.
I got an email recently advertising a course in copywriting, and while I wouldn't say I'd love to get into technical writing, at the same time my interest was piqued and I had a gut instinct that while I had an extra bit of cash this course could be just the direction I need to go in to start doing more of what I love - writing.
I've spent so long hiding from writing and day dreaming about it, but now I've finally come to realize that it's really what I love to do and I need it in my life. It's not the easiest profession in the world, and actually teaching ESL to students out here in the Middle East in many ways is much easier, but it doesn't make me happy.
This job rejection has finally given me the chance I need to go out there and do what I love. I've spent a long time running from full-time job to full-time job for fear of an unsteady income while I watched friends struggle, but do what they love, even if at an unsteady pace. This position I've ended up in finally gives me the push I've needed to head back 'home' to the States and get more involved with filmmaking and writing while also being able to help out my family in ways that a full-time job would never allow.
It's not going to be easy. It's definitely going to be scary, but scary can be exhilarating and at this age I believe I need a bit of exhilarating to move me into the next stage of my life, full of stories and the excitement that being rejected brings.
Wish me luck!!!
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