I haven't written for several days now for the same reason I've been putting of my practice and my time on the mat. I don't know why exactly because getting back on the mat today got me wanting to write again, although I'm still on sabbatical from meditation.
I guess it's a combination of things - wondering what I really want to write on this here blog/ wondering what my focus should be when I'm writing/ wondering how to complete my job responsibilities, study my online course, write my 750 words a day and still have time to write on here or simply just write the many projects I have going on right now.
My horoscope at the beginning of 2011 spoke about having too many plates to juggle, not that I see that as a negative, but simply allowing me to explore and hone in on what I'm really trying to achieve with my writing.
Through all this pondering @evbogue and @gwenbell have been keeping me moving forward and questioning what I'm really seeking online. Recently, I've been overwhelmed with information from all sources and have been plugged in far too often and far too aimlessly.
In terms of what I'm trying to achieve here I think my problem is that the blog I'm seeking to create doesn't really exist yet. @gwenbell summed it up perfectly in her interview here that I took the time to really listen to today. I don't want to have to button hole or cover up an aspect of myself that just doesn't 'fit' with what my second self is trying to achieve here. I want to be open and vulnerable and be able to share all and everything that comes up, but the problem is figuring out how to achieve that on a scrolling page with a back dated archive. Showing up at the first page doesn't necessarily portray what I'm all about, but then neither does a single one of my posts.
I guess what I'm searching for is a 'free spirit' of a blog that morphs and changes as I morph and change without back dating these events as if I'm a history book to be learned and memorized.
Ultimately it doesn't really matter, it's more about exploring what I wish to put out into the world and I guess that right now the way the internet works we're still exploring how to do this more effectively and more efficiently.
Whatever happens my last idea of having 3 different blogs that showcase all the things I wish to write about truly proves how far down in the exploration trail I currently am. But with the help of these revolutionary mindfully thinking folks I'm excited to see what starts to come up!
If you're interested in the dialogue going on right now concerning mindful folks who're exploring how best to create and use their second self check out the dialogue going on on twitter by following all the people @evbogue and @gwenbell follow and subscribe to their blogs. What they're exploring is truly fascinating.
Oh and I've got to start being a single spacer. It's a learning curve!
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