One month into 2011, what question(s) are you living? Are there any prompts/questions that arose during #reverb10 that are still resonating in your life? Are you living new questions?
One thing I know for sure is that every #reverb10 prompt got me thinking and it appears that it also got me sending out vibes into the universe that have culminated all the change that has taken place in my life so far in 2011.
I won't say I'm succeeding in everything that I wanted to achieve this year but I'm also still not in a position to do many of those things (and it is only the beginning of February!). Out of the things I can accomplish here in Muscat these are the things that are proving to stick:
Writing - I'm on my 66th day of 750words, which is unbelievable (I can't believe how motivated I am to keep racking up those badges! Although my attachment to my badges and word count definitely isn't healthy or mindful of me). I'm sure that the day I can't write and start back at the beginning again as an egg will really be the challenge. However, right now I don't know how that will happen as I'm obsessed! 750words keeps me functioning!
I haven't started my first novel yet, or worked any further on my feature scripts, but I'm working on writing my blog everyday and have started a few articles for Tiny Buddha which I hope to submit. Right now my work schedule isn't allowing for much more writing and also the fact I've been sick. Being sick gives me time to sit and think, but I have no energy or passion to write my thoughts down.
I have been much better at letting go of my old self - by proving that when I love something I won't give up on it even if I doubt myself
I have also been better at planning less, living slower and going with the flow by not beating myself up over the things I don't achieve, but also not giving up on achieving those goals when the timing is finally right.
I'm still enjoying listening to Zencast and participating in Drop a Love Bomb, but my meditation practice has ground to a halt. It's the one thing I'm having trouble sticking to. I think that once I join a sangha in Savannah it will help. I need the inspiration of those who practice and experience the benefits around me to give me that boost I can't seem to find in myself.
I'm still teaching ESL and I didn't get a job out of all the ones I applied for, but this experience has been freeing and has taught me I don't have to plan everything out to a t. Life is giving me a chance to finally do what I love - freelance writing and film work - and I've got to grasp that offer while I can. It may never happen again.
I know that with no secure job on the horizon in July my chance to live with less stuff is now, in order to maintain a life that doesn't require a constant and steady flow of income. I am practicing presently although I wouldn't say I'm completely minimalist. That's not really my goal. My goal is to be mindful about my spending and why I need 'stuff' in my life.
I'm less prone to contact Facebook and email checking as I was last year but this is mainly due to the wisdom of @gwenbell and @evbogue whose current technological explorations have really made me think more mindfully about what I'm involved with online.
I'm still as judgmental if not worse than I was, but this is because I've been taking less time to sit back, breath and live in the moment. Not meditating is a reason for this I'm sure, and once I have sorted that out I'm hoping this part of my personality will fall into line (a girl can dream!).
I'm so busy writing that I'm watching WAY less TV. This is also cause there's less on, but it's good for me and my life - so please OSN don't put any good shows on and my TV sabbatical will continue!
Unfortunately I'm still road raging, but I'm getting better at being mindful about the possibility of road raging before I get in the car. Gradually I'm becoming less concerned about what others think anymore, which is also why I'm willing to admit I'm a chronic road rager (I don't get out of my car or anything, but a few fists have been raised!). I'm still buying shoes (but it's under control because I'm succeeding in my financial goals) and I'm definitely dreaming less and doing more.
I'm so hopeful for the future, which my yoga practice helps with although due to being sick I haven't been able to practice as much as I've wanted to.
All in all I can't complain. If this is what the start of 2011 holds, just think what the end of 2011 will have brought! Can't wait!
Subscribe!
Showing posts with label the present moment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the present moment. Show all posts
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Stopping and Timing
It's taken me a good long two and a half years to finally finish all that needed to be done in regards to my thesis film 'Betserai'. During #reverb10 I previously wrote a post about how my middle name should be 'procrastination', but yesterday I came across an interesting talk by Scott Stratten about stopping.
I posted the video yesterday, but felt I wanted to say more about this point of 'Keeping On Going' instead of taking the time to stop.
When I was 16 I came across the following quote: 'Smell the roses while you can.' I don't remember who said this and I'm sure that's not even the exact quote, but it stuck with me. While at the time I was going through a period of intense anger at the world and had a rather maudlin outlook on life, as you often do when you're 16, this quote has stayed with me and I cannot believe how relevant it has become in my life.
I've also been someone who felt the need to 'keep going on' in the face of all adversity. I think western culture pretty much dictates that. It's one of the only ways to survive in a capitalist culture where everything comes down to the bottom line. I was never directly told to 'keep going on' by anyone in particular, but it was definitely implied and my parents have often fought to keep me going at times I wanted to stop. And there have been times when I have stopped. I've 'procrastinated' and put things off. I've taken a seat when others were sprinting ahead.
While in some ways stopping has put me at a disadvantage professionally and personally in some places, it has also given me the chance to stop and smell the roses while I can. I use to look at the quote 'Smell the roses while you can' in an environmental sense. I thought the point of the quote was to say that if I didn't take better care of the planet there would be no roses left to smell. This is true, especially at this present time, but ultimately the quote is also talking about our own personal extinction.
I guess my teenage arrogance meant that I never went as far as considering my own death in the equation of this quote. Not that I never though about death, but just never in the sense of my life ending before I had the chance to stop and take a moment to 'smell the roses'; to enjoy life.
It's funny how so many of us believe that in order to enjoy life we have to be doing. We have to be getting in order to really appreciate this life that we have. However, this life that we have is right here, right now. As I type this blog I have this life. Even if I stop typing I have it. If I take my fingers off this keyboard and just stop, my life doesn't stop. My life continues. So what does it matter if we stop? Stopping doesn't mean dying or death. In fact it means quite the opposite, for like Scott Stratten pointed out in his talk, stopping encourages life and living for we can finally see life for what it really is. We can finally appreciate all we have right here in this moment, that otherwise we would miss because we are too busy doing.
I feel incredibly fortunate in the choices that I have made throughout my life to stop and take stock. I haven't always appreciated these periods in which I stopped, but now I can see that they've helped me grow personally and spiritually and get me to the mental state I live in today.
This is especially true of the period I am living in just now. Many things in my life have stopped since I came to live in the Middle East. But it has helped me to re-evaluate, to figure out what it is I really value and want out of life, without doing a million things in the hopes that these things will helped me to figure out what I want.
In stopping I have come to hear my true inner voice and all it's wants and needs that are not necessarily the material wants and needs that I find myself craving when I am doing.
This stopping also doesn't mean that I have completely stopped. Like I said, having taken the time to stop I have finally managed to complete a project that I have started and stopped several times in the last couple of years. And the funny thing is that the timing has been perfect. Out of all the festivals I have entered I have so far won several awards for my screenplay and the first film festival entry that we applied to (The Accolade Competition of Film, Television, New Media and Videography) just awarded Betserai an 'Award of Excellence'.
Who's to say what would have happened if I had entered 'Betserai' into festivals the previous year or even the following year? I may still have won some awards, but I do believe that timing is everything.
I timed my trip out to the Middle East perfectly. I finally managed to move closer to family when my grandfather suddenly passed away. If I had still been living in New York it would have been awful to be so far away from everyone at a very sad time in our lives. I was with my parents, however, who were also able to pay for me to fly back to Scotland for the funeral. I would not have been able to afford it if I had been in New York and may not even have had enough time off to take a trans-atlantic flight back home and take the time that was needed to spend with my family.
Being in Oman at this time has meant that I was there to support my mother during her grief. My parents were there to support me and enable me to get on my feet financially after struggling so much in New York. We were all able to take the time to re-evaluate our relationships together and realize that we want to be close to each other in the future, personally and physically. This meant that we could come to a decision that my parents should move to the US for retirement rather than go back home to Scotland or further afield to Thailand or Malaysia.
So many things have occured that otherwise wouldn't have if I hadn't taken the time to stop and do something that may not have advanced me professionally, or in many ways personally, but it got me to exactly the place I want to be were I can smell the roses while I can.
I posted the video yesterday, but felt I wanted to say more about this point of 'Keeping On Going' instead of taking the time to stop.
When I was 16 I came across the following quote: 'Smell the roses while you can.' I don't remember who said this and I'm sure that's not even the exact quote, but it stuck with me. While at the time I was going through a period of intense anger at the world and had a rather maudlin outlook on life, as you often do when you're 16, this quote has stayed with me and I cannot believe how relevant it has become in my life.
I've also been someone who felt the need to 'keep going on' in the face of all adversity. I think western culture pretty much dictates that. It's one of the only ways to survive in a capitalist culture where everything comes down to the bottom line. I was never directly told to 'keep going on' by anyone in particular, but it was definitely implied and my parents have often fought to keep me going at times I wanted to stop. And there have been times when I have stopped. I've 'procrastinated' and put things off. I've taken a seat when others were sprinting ahead.
While in some ways stopping has put me at a disadvantage professionally and personally in some places, it has also given me the chance to stop and smell the roses while I can. I use to look at the quote 'Smell the roses while you can' in an environmental sense. I thought the point of the quote was to say that if I didn't take better care of the planet there would be no roses left to smell. This is true, especially at this present time, but ultimately the quote is also talking about our own personal extinction.
I guess my teenage arrogance meant that I never went as far as considering my own death in the equation of this quote. Not that I never though about death, but just never in the sense of my life ending before I had the chance to stop and take a moment to 'smell the roses'; to enjoy life.
It's funny how so many of us believe that in order to enjoy life we have to be doing. We have to be getting in order to really appreciate this life that we have. However, this life that we have is right here, right now. As I type this blog I have this life. Even if I stop typing I have it. If I take my fingers off this keyboard and just stop, my life doesn't stop. My life continues. So what does it matter if we stop? Stopping doesn't mean dying or death. In fact it means quite the opposite, for like Scott Stratten pointed out in his talk, stopping encourages life and living for we can finally see life for what it really is. We can finally appreciate all we have right here in this moment, that otherwise we would miss because we are too busy doing.
I feel incredibly fortunate in the choices that I have made throughout my life to stop and take stock. I haven't always appreciated these periods in which I stopped, but now I can see that they've helped me grow personally and spiritually and get me to the mental state I live in today.
This is especially true of the period I am living in just now. Many things in my life have stopped since I came to live in the Middle East. But it has helped me to re-evaluate, to figure out what it is I really value and want out of life, without doing a million things in the hopes that these things will helped me to figure out what I want.
In stopping I have come to hear my true inner voice and all it's wants and needs that are not necessarily the material wants and needs that I find myself craving when I am doing.
This stopping also doesn't mean that I have completely stopped. Like I said, having taken the time to stop I have finally managed to complete a project that I have started and stopped several times in the last couple of years. And the funny thing is that the timing has been perfect. Out of all the festivals I have entered I have so far won several awards for my screenplay and the first film festival entry that we applied to (The Accolade Competition of Film, Television, New Media and Videography) just awarded Betserai an 'Award of Excellence'.
Who's to say what would have happened if I had entered 'Betserai' into festivals the previous year or even the following year? I may still have won some awards, but I do believe that timing is everything.
I timed my trip out to the Middle East perfectly. I finally managed to move closer to family when my grandfather suddenly passed away. If I had still been living in New York it would have been awful to be so far away from everyone at a very sad time in our lives. I was with my parents, however, who were also able to pay for me to fly back to Scotland for the funeral. I would not have been able to afford it if I had been in New York and may not even have had enough time off to take a trans-atlantic flight back home and take the time that was needed to spend with my family.
Being in Oman at this time has meant that I was there to support my mother during her grief. My parents were there to support me and enable me to get on my feet financially after struggling so much in New York. We were all able to take the time to re-evaluate our relationships together and realize that we want to be close to each other in the future, personally and physically. This meant that we could come to a decision that my parents should move to the US for retirement rather than go back home to Scotland or further afield to Thailand or Malaysia.
So many things have occured that otherwise wouldn't have if I hadn't taken the time to stop and do something that may not have advanced me professionally, or in many ways personally, but it got me to exactly the place I want to be were I can smell the roses while I can.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)