Stopping and Timing

It's taken me a good long two and a half years to finally finish all that needed to be done in regards to my thesis film 'Betserai'.  During #reverb10 I previously wrote a post about how my middle name should be 'procrastination', but yesterday I came across an interesting talk by Scott Stratten about stopping.


I posted the video yesterday, but felt I wanted to say more about this point of 'Keeping On Going' instead of taking the time to stop.


When I was 16 I came across the following quote:  'Smell the roses while you can.'  I don't remember who said this and I'm sure that's not even the exact quote, but it stuck with me.  While at the time I was going through a period of intense anger at the world and had a rather maudlin outlook on life, as you often do when you're 16, this quote has stayed with me and I cannot believe how relevant it has become in my life.


I've also been someone who felt the need to 'keep going on' in the face of all adversity.  I think western culture pretty much dictates that.  It's one of the only ways to survive in a capitalist culture where everything comes down to the bottom line. I was never directly told to 'keep going on' by anyone in particular, but it was definitely implied and my parents have often fought to keep me going at times I wanted to stop.  And there have been times when I have stopped.  I've 'procrastinated' and put things off.  I've taken a seat when others were sprinting ahead.  


While in some ways stopping has put me at a disadvantage professionally and personally in some places, it has also given me the chance to stop and smell the roses while I can.  I use to look at the quote 'Smell the roses while you can' in an environmental sense.  I thought the point of the quote was to say that if I didn't take better care of the planet there would be no roses left to smell.  This is true, especially at this present time, but ultimately the quote is also talking about our own personal extinction.  


I guess my teenage arrogance meant that I never went as far as considering my own death in the equation of this quote.  Not that I never though about death, but just never in the sense of my life ending before I had the chance to stop and take a moment to 'smell the roses'; to enjoy life.  


It's funny how so many of us believe that in order to enjoy life we have to be doing.  We have to be getting in order to really appreciate this life that we have.  However, this life that we have is right here, right now.  As I type this blog I have this life.  Even if I stop typing I have it.  If I take my fingers off this keyboard and just stop, my life doesn't stop.  My life continues.  So what does it matter if we stop? Stopping doesn't mean dying or death.  In fact it means quite the opposite, for like Scott Stratten pointed out in his talk, stopping encourages life and living for we can finally see life for what it really is.  We can finally appreciate all we have right here in this moment, that otherwise we would miss because we are too busy doing.


I feel incredibly fortunate in the choices that I have made throughout my life to stop and take stock.  I haven't always appreciated these periods in which I stopped, but now I can see that they've helped me grow personally and spiritually and get me to the mental state I live in today.


This is especially true of the period I am living in just now.  Many things in my life have stopped since I came to live in the Middle East.  But it has helped me to re-evaluate, to figure out what it is I really value and want out of life, without doing a million things in the hopes that these things will helped me to figure out what I want.


In stopping I have come to hear my true inner voice and all it's wants and needs that are not necessarily the material wants and needs that I find myself craving when I am doing.


This stopping also doesn't mean that I have completely stopped.  Like I said, having taken the time to stop I have finally managed to complete a project that I have started and stopped several times in the last couple of years.  And the funny thing is that the timing has been perfect.  Out of all the festivals I have entered I have so far won several awards for my screenplay and the first film festival entry that we applied to (The Accolade Competition of Film, Television, New Media and Videography) just awarded Betserai an 'Award of Excellence'.


Who's to say what would have happened if I had entered 'Betserai' into festivals the previous year or even the following year?  I may still have won some awards, but I do believe that timing is everything.


I timed my trip out to the Middle East perfectly.  I finally managed to move closer to family when my grandfather suddenly passed away.  If I had still been living in New York it would have been awful to be so far away from everyone at a very sad time in our lives.  I was with my parents, however, who were also able to pay for me to fly back to Scotland for the funeral.  I would not have been able to afford it if I had been in New York and may not even have had enough time off to take a trans-atlantic flight back home and take the time that was needed to spend with my family.


Being in Oman at this time has meant that I was there to support my mother during her grief.  My parents were there to support me and enable me to get on my feet financially after struggling so much in New York.  We were all able to take the time to re-evaluate our relationships together and realize that we want to be close to each other in the future, personally and physically.  This meant that we could come to a decision that my parents should move to the US for retirement rather than go back home to Scotland or further afield to Thailand or Malaysia.


So many things have occured that otherwise wouldn't have if I hadn't taken the time to stop and do something that may not have advanced me professionally, or in many ways personally, but it got me to exactly the place I want to be were I can smell the roses while I can.

Betserai Film Festival Entries

Betserai the film has so far been entered into the following festivals:

Los Angeles Women's International Film Festival

and

Women's International Film & Arts Festival in Florida

Here's to hoping the employee I dealt with at Aramex sent the correct DVD to the correct festival cause it was touch and go when I explained what to do.

It is as it is.

More festival entries to be posted soon. Wish us luck and keep checking back for details!

Post Charleston International Film Festival

I didn't end up winning an award at the festival in Charleston this year, but did end up winning 2nd place in the short competition at the 2009 Las Vegas Film Festival.  I had no idea I was even a finalist!  I learned of my success from an email I received  detailing how to receive your award!  

This awesome news made my stay in Charleston and while I wish I had gone to the Las Vegas Film Festival instead of the Charleston Festival, I feel that I learned a lot from the Charleston experience that I might not have realized had I gone to Las Vegas.

As with many things in the film world a lot of your success comes from the research that you do and the knowledge about the industry that you acquire from that research.  Our producing professor Michael Nolin always told us to research like crazy when thinking about pitching, promoting, marketing or distributing our films.  Question who your audience is - who is watching?  

In hindsight I should have investigated further into the festival before deciding to travel down from New York to South Carolina as a screenwriting finalist - not the easiest way to do the festival circuit because it's not as if you can bring people along to read your script in the way you might if you are screening a film.  However, as my first solo festival excursion it was very informative and I learned that while I didn't really meet anyone associated with the festival or the industry I did pitch my film to a local lady at a restaurant and have great conversations about the film world with every cab driver that took me back and forth from my hotel to the theatre.  This led me to realize I am not as bad at networking as I previously thought - I just need to be smarter about how I go about networking and where I choose to do it!

Now...what to do with those 50 business cards I got printed?

Day 2 - Charleston IFF

The schedule on Friday started later in the afternoon allowing visitors to explore downtown Charleston and do a bit of sightseeing, and workers to finish their jobs for the day.

The first block started with a documentary from South Carolina which I skipped in order to watch a Portuguese feature at 4:40pm.  I can't say I've seen many or actually any Portuguese films so felt it was a good opportunity to get a feel for the kinds of films made in Portugal. 

This block was opened by an Australian short called Lover's Walk.  This so-so short is about an aging couple and their daughter who comes to understand their complicated but co-dependent relationship when they are both forced to enter nursing homes as their health declines.  The film is overly sentimental with flashbacks used as a means of explaining how their relationship has changed over the years.  The actors in the flashbacks do not fit with their aged counterparts making the film rather unbelievable.  The subject matter is good and definitely explores issues that most films don't explore in depth.  This would be interesting as a feature which would allow more time to explore the characters and their relationships.

The Portuguese feature Good Night Irene followed.  I don't know if it was just horribly shot or whether the copy of the film that was played was damaged but the film looked terrible.  The entire audio was distorted and the music was so loud in parts that it made the dialogue impossible to understand.  While I tried to find meaning throughout the film I didn't really understand why I was watching this film.  There were many random scenes that didn't add to the film but tried to build relationships that took way to long in their realization.  For me it was a rambling mess in which the main character (in no way a likable character or one I could connect to as an audience member) took one and a half hours to realize that other people are what make life worth living.  

This film has been selected as a finalist in a few notable film festivals so I must just be missing something.  The film's website looks and sounds really good leading me to wonder if it was the projectionist at the festival who was the main problem in terms of sound and vision.  The director Paolo Marinou-Blanco is someone I'd like to keep my eye on however as a fellow global nomad.  I can't fault him for creating a film that doesn't just pander to the Hollywood prototype.  As much as I didn't like this film I would be interested to see what Paolo makes next.

Block 3

I followed the feature with a block of shorts in the hopes I'd watch something interesting!  This block definitely turned out to be a gold mine of interesting films.

First was a local comedy spoof called The Merkin Man based on the regional public television of South Carolina.  It was funny at times and a good parody of local TV, although I'm sure I would have found it funnier had I seen the local TV or lived in South Carolina.  Most of the jokes appreciated by the audience seemed to be understood by the audience because they were friends of the filmmaker which made the short rather indulgent.  However, I could see it as a sketch on SNL and appreciated its appeal for that reason.

Next was a gorgeous short called The Big Fat Lazy Sun by Daniel Brothers.  It was a sight to see and the music used was excellent.  Whoever shot this short has great talent and reminds me of shorts made by a talented cinematographer called Kevin Phillips that came out of SCAD while I was a student there.  Check out his reel here. 

This short has a great storyline although I did lose the plot close to the end.  I don't know if that was because the speech and music got so mixed up that I missed what was being said (although that could have been intentional) or just because I expected the storyline to be more linear.  Overall though it is one of the most creative and engaging shorts I've seen so far.  I want to hire this cinematographer!

The 8th Samurai

Definitely my favorite short of the festival and no shock that it's an AFI film!  Excellent short with humor and drama in the storyline which was highly unpredictable making it a complete gem.  The black and white photography was beautiful and the performances were unforgettable.  Literally there is nothing bad or negative I can say about that short.  Definitely a must see if there is a chance!  LOVE IT!

A Thing Of The Past

This short was a great try but looked too amateurish.  The art direction really let the film down and the acting was not the best.  Like a lot of other films at the festival the subject matter was definitely film worthy, but overall a letdown.  Definitely a subject matter that needs more time on screen though so I'm glad the filmmakers were selected for the festival.

There was a problem with the last film of this block La Loteria which was unfortunate because this short was the reason I watched this block of films.  After sitting in the dark for about 10 minutes we were told they would play us a festival favorite called Wish but after another 10 minutes we were still sitting in the dark.  Unfortunately for us they then played another film instead.  This film was a winner in last years CIFF.  

Tangled Web

Knowing this film was the winner in last years CIFF awards made me cringe.  This was the worst film I saw the entire festival and I was not the only person in the audience who felt that way.  There was a collective groan when the film ended and people quickly got up to leave when the film started to replay for a second time.  If the film was supposed to be a parody then it would be genius but it was cliched, badly acted (the main actress won an acting award last year and was so fake it was painful to watch) and the cinematography was inconsistent with half looking like a Hollywood feature and the other cinematography 101.  One of the main characters was Michael Urie who plays Marc St. James on Ugly Betty.  My question for him would be 'What were you thinking?'.  My question to the Jury at the 2008 CIFF would be a simple 'What?'.

After that painful end to my favorite block of films in the festival so far I was hoping to get another chance to see Wish in Block 5.  Unfortunately they were still having problems playing the disc so The Beneficiary was played instead.  

The Beneficiary

This short film was really well shot with cinematography stylized to suit the subject matter.  The acting is really good although I didn't believe that the main actress would be married to an  aging abusive truck driver.  Their relationship was never explained and just to add to that confusion was the inclusion of a random woman at the end of the film who ended up with some money (I'm guessing she was supposed to be the truck drivers ex-wife).  However, those were the only parts of the film that seemed misplaced.  The ending was rather unresolved, but as the master of unresolved short film endings I can hardly criticize.  Overall a good short that I was glad I got a chance to see over Wish.

The End

The British documentary The End was the highlight of this block and ended up winning the award for best documentary at the festival this year.  About gangsters from the East End of London this documentary focused on roughly eight interesting 'characters' who grew up in the East End of London before immigrants moved into the area and native Eastenders moved out to the suburbs.  While highly stylized it was obvious that no added detail had been left out in order to make a cohesive documentary about a side of British life normally highlighted in negative British press that has only otherwise been explored in films such as those by Guy Ritchie (e.g. Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch).

With the daughter of one of the so-called gangsters directing, the filmmakers were able to get interviews that may otherwise not have been as honest or revealing from people who are normally ignored by the general press or only portrayed in negative light.  Unfortunately, at one point the interviews did seem to get almost too revealing, becoming slightly racist in my point of view.  The characters revealed a side of life in the UK that is normally glossed over - that of white, native Brits feeling pushed out and alienated from current British life and culture due to all the different races of people that now make up the British Isles.  While the documentary highlighted a tension in the British community between older generations of native Brits and so-called 'foreigners' it did little to explain how this has changed the UK other than by pushing the Eastenders out of the East End of London making the East End (for the protagonists) not the London they once considered it.  This segment of the film definitely sentimentalized the time when the East End was run by these so-called gangsters making the East End, in their opinion, much safer and a time when everyone could leave their doors open and feel safe.  

Overall I'm not 100% sure what the filmmaker was trying to say with this documentary, which could have been because as one of the main character's daughters whose life did not go in the same direction as her father, this film was more an exploration of a side of life she wasn't necessarily living first hand, but was exposed to growing up.

This film is definitely worth a watch and although extremely disturbing in parts an original project that deserves exposure in the film world.

Day 1 - Charleston IFF

I always enjoy going back down south, enjoying the friendly people, the laid-back atmosphere and the weather after cold, busy and stressed out New York.  This was my experience as soon as I got in the cab at the airport in Charleston.  

I felt a bit unprepared as we didn't get much information about what was going on apart from the schedule that is available on the film festival website.  I'm not sure if this is normal for most festivals and later on I realized that it was simply a taste of my time yet to come in Charleston.

I arrived for the mixer on Thursday at 5pm advertised as the event to kick off the festival.  I was the first person to pick up my pass from the theatre which made it hard to differenciate between who at the festival was a filmmaker and who was a member of the general public.  I was given a small sample of food from the restaurant in the hopes that I would then buy dinner.  However, having already eaten I only bought a beer and read through the schedule booklet to keep myself busy.  The booklet was really well done and had a very interesting selection of films, a lot of which were from North and South Carolina and made by students at the local film and media colleges.

I did ended up meeting a really nice lady who sat next to me, but unfortunately she had just come into the restaurant for dinner.  I was able to pitch my screenplay to her which was great practice so I was glad I had introduced myself proving that I wasn't as scared of or as bad at networking as I thought!  Just a shame it wasn't someone part of the festival.

I headed into the first block of films opened by a local filmmaker.  His film called Search is about a local hotel worker who feels an affinity to a young autistic boy who has gone missing. She starts researching into his disappearance as she struggles with her own medical problems. We learn that the boy has died of exposure in the woods but continues to visit the woman as her medical problems get worse.  In the end she dies and joins the boy in the after life.

The film did have some interesting shots in it and the story line was worthy of a short film, but tended to lean toward the sentimental and the relationship between the boy and the woman could have been more fully explored in order to connect the audience with these characters better.

The feature that followed was an Australian film called The Black Balloon by Elissa Down.  The theatre was in no way sold out but the reaction from the people in the audience around me was powerful.  This is a beautiful character story based on some really challenging issues.  I really connected with the main characters all of whom gave stellar performances full of emotion.  While some reviewers have found the film too sentimental and glossy I think that the writer and director did a great job of balancing the emotional highs with great humor that gives so much insight into the Australian culture.  Definitely my favorite film of the year so far!  A must see!

Seeing that my hopes of meeting lots of people in the industry were so far not yet met I decided to make the most of my pass and watch as many movies as possible so I headed into block number 4.  This block consisted of two animations and a road movie called Fix.

In the theatre most people were locals or festival goers without passes again giving me no clue who anyone was (passes are great openers if you can read them so people don't become nameless bodies in the crowd).  I did unknowingly meet one of the co-founders of the festival who introduced themselves using only their name.  They told me where to get tickets once I told them my name and showed them my pass, but that was it in terms of a greeting and it wasn't until they were later introduced before one of the movies that I made the connection to who they were.  No disrespect because they were very friendly and nice, but I just thought that a co-founder would have done more to connect with someone who submitted to the festival and was selected.  Was it because I was only a screenwriter and wasn't showing a film?  I have no idea. Maybe it was because I wasn't local, but I have a feeling that the biggest connections made by the creators of the festival were with those that they already knew locally or out-of-state (if their were any...I have a feeling I may have been the only crazy one to spend money going down there during a recession!) 

The first animation called Toumai was stylized in a way I had never before seen and beautiful to look at.  I have no idea how you would describe the style as animation is definitely not an art I know much about.  The story is about a man who struggles to defy nature by creating the ultimate man-made flying machine.  I really liked the animation although I didn't really understand what was going on in the story until it was over.  Definitely worth a watch though.

The next animation called High Hopes was created around comedian Steve Hofstetter's stand-up comedy.  I had never heard of this comedian before, but I enjoyed his humor and felt that the animation did a great job of representing the tone and ideas behind the jokes.  Interesting watch!

The road movie Fix was reviewed as a mix between Go and Arrested Development which had me a little worried as that kind of comedy takes me time to get into.  However I loved Go so decided to give it a shot.  The idea was interesting - Milo getting his brother to rehab in the 15 hours he has after he leaves jail to get to the rehab center.  I really enjoyed the beginning of the film, but ultimately what kept me from really getting behind the film was the performances.  For how antagonistic the characters were towards each other there was too much grinning going on to really believe this was how the characters felt.  I thought the main actress was the weakest link and unfortunately for me she was on the screen for most of the film.  The filming style reminded me of Cloverfield but with less shakiness.  Some of the shots felt really forced and unnatural just to get the action that was taking place when the camera was supposed to be off.  However, the audience seemed to enjoy it so I think that this film just wasn't my thing.  Ultimately the writing ruined the film right in the opening for me.  The main characters spoke about how they didn't want to make a film about a dysfunctional, rich-kid, drug addict who had no real reason to make such a mess of his life making audiences not feel bad for him - by the end of the film this is exactly how I felt.  That was dangerous ground to walk so early on and I may not really have focused on that idea if it hadn't been stated by the actors so early on.  It was like a filmmaker disclaimer for what we were about to watch.

Some technical errors in the projection booth during the screeners, nothing huge but they didn't end up being the only errors this weekend, unfortunately.  

Having sat through two blocks of films and one mixer a theme started to occur to me.  Most of the people around me seemed to be local movie-goers or friends and family of the filmmakers all of whom were local.  While it's great that the local film community has a film festival to bring them together to make connections and learn how to improve the industry in the area, as an out-of-stater who's a foreigner in the country for the most part I felt very far removed from the festival social scene.  I had no idea how to assimilate myself with any of the filmmakers at the festival because they were constantly surrounded by the people in their movies or family.  For an international festival it all seemed very local to me.

Spent about $20 on taxis today.  The email correspondence I received prior to my arrival had said that those from New York could walk to the theatre from the hotels suggested although it might take a while.  I was hoping this might be true, but I would have had to walk along a two-lane highway and over a bridge (some of which had no real sidewalk).  While it wouldn't have been impossible to walk to the theatre there's a reason why everyone in southern cities have cars - it's not very realistic to walk.  Note to self:  next time rent a car!