Day 3 #trust30 - One Strong Belief

It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

The world is powered by passionate people, powerful ideas, and fearless action. What’s one strong belief you possess that isn’t shared by your closest friends or family? What inspires this belief, and what have you done to actively live it?

(Author: Buster Benson)

We all have the power to end our own suffering by understanding our minds and realizing that we don't have to be driven by their every whim. This is the one strong belief I possess that isn't shared by my closest friends and family. Of course, they believe that to some extent because they are not total delinquents, but they don't believe it to the extent I do and it shows in their often unhappy lives.

I have chosen to follow the teachings of the Buddha and to live a Buddhist lifestyle. This doesn't mean that I am a happy sorted person. No way! It simply means that I'm more in control of my mind than I've ever been before. It means I take responsibility for my thoughts and actions that arise from those thoughts. It means I'm aware of what I'm thinking and how my thinking causes me to suffer, and it means I have a place to work from, to start from, when trying to liberate myself from suffering. 

I've started a year long blogathon in which I write everyday about the lessons I'm learning and my struggles with my practice. This will be research for a novel I want to write around the topic of liberation from suffering. However, it also keeps me in check with my thoughts and actions, and allows me to see where I'm going wrong. My blog has also connected me with others on a similar path who are also writing about their experience. We learn from each other, laugh with each other and commiserate when the going gets tough.

There are so many resources out there on the web that I never knew existed that have helped me with my path. I'm learning something new everyday. This also keeps my practice fresh and allows me to come at it with new eyes so that I don't become entrenched and stuck in my path without a teacher.

I'm also actively figuring out how to continue my practice when I move back stateside at the end of September. I am actively pursuing a Sangha that I can join because the Sangha is the heart of the practice. 

Ultimately it was #reverb10 and 750words that started me on the firm path I'm on now after several unsuccessful attempts to dabble in Buddhism. For this I am eternally grateful. 

Namaste

Day 2 #trust30 - Once Sentence to Describe the Day

Day 2 and I'm on track for the 30 day challenge :)

Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. The force of character is cumulative. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

If ‘the voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks,’ then it is more genuine to be present today than to recount yesterdays. How would you describe today using only one sentence? Tell today’s sentence to one other person. Repeat each day.

(Author: Liz Danzico)

One sentence:

When in doubt stop and remember that those who have not been touched by the Dharma cannot be expected to live by the Dharma and therefore compassion should prevail no matter how difficult that makes your life and practice for that in itself is the practice.

Defending the Ego

I had an interesting conversation with a co-worker today.  Not that the content was interesting, at least not for me, but my emotional reaction to it was.


I didn't really have time to talk to her.  It's funny how people don't always read your visual cues, take a pew and start chatting while you're arm deep in pear juice and exam marking.  Oh the joys of teaching!  I don't know how 'real' teachers do it.  Really!


I did my best to stay open and present and really listen.  Unfortunately what I heard was someone unable to cope with the stresses placed onto them on a daily basis and their need to be saved from work they were unable to cope with.  I can understand this situation myself having worked at my current institution for a year and a half.  There is a lot of 'dumping' that goes on from above.  Luckily for me I've become a lot more proactive and have started to say 'no' way more often than I ever have in the past. 


In general, taking on extra work/tasks is not necessarily a bad thing for it gives employees the chance to prove themselves at work.  But in terms of this institution, from all I've seen, generally you just end up getting blamed for all the problems that are mainly due to mismanagement.  Therefore, it's best all around just to stand your ground and say 'no'.  This is unless you are saying no to responsibilities that are a daily requirement, of course.


Going back to the conversation - I did tend towards being a nay-sayer in an effort to question why I was really being asked to do this task.  My questions didn't go down well and my co-worker felt the need to put me down in order to prove her point in giving me the task.  This is the part that interested me the most for purely personal reasons.


First of all, I could totally understand where she was coming from and why she said what she did.  There was also no doubt in my mind that it wasn't worth retaliating in anyway, so I sat back, nodded and let her voice her piece.  I then spent the rest of the morning stewing over how to create a solution rather than a problem now that it was obvious there was no way I could avoid doing this task.  


Then it came to me.  Instead of focusing on the co-worker or the task or solutions to our problem, I should be focusing on the energy this conversation had created.  The energy was familiar in every way, the only difference was the way I was viewing it. While in the past I would have carried this energy around daily, thinking over and over about the conversation and put-down I had received, now I realized that all I was really dealing with was energy!  And this energy had the power to involve me in gossip, backstabbing, he said/ she said, all in the ego's struggle for survival.


Luckily, with an exam to invigilate, I was given the time I needed to realize the game my ego was playing in an effort to hold onto any little grasp it has over my thinking now that I've been practicing Buddhism and the wisdom of Eckhart Tolle for a good while.  I wouldn't say I'm now in better control of my ego as I've only just started noticing this pattern of thinking.  The urge to speak to someone else about how hurt I feel having been put-down is still extremely strong.  However, I can feel positive in the fact that I'm starting to improve in my choice to keep the put-down to myself and figure out a solution to the problem without letting the ego take over.


Of course, I just shared this story with you so I can't feel too positive just yet. The next time it happens and I don't speak OR blog about it will surely be the most important baby step so far!


Namaste

#reverb 10 - December 24th

Prompt: Everything's OK. What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?


Every moment that I can stop, take a breath and become aware of all that is around me proves that everything is okay.  Everything in this moment is perfect.  Nothing in this moment is something that I can't handle, as long as I continue to stop, take a deep breath and focus on the moment.
I will incorporate this discovery by continuing to practice and by making sure I start meditating everyday, even if only for a few minutes before sleeping.